The Odd Feeling of Regret One Gets shortly after Setting Oneself Alight

The Odd Feeling of Regret one gets shortly after Setting Oneself Alight refers to a vague, ennui-like remorse that tends to cross one's mind after they, for example, pour petrol all over themselves and light a cigarette. The phenomenon is currently under investigation by Fungological authorities, but they're running out of volunteers. There has been considerable funding into the project, however, and researchers are confident that they are on the edge of a breakthrough, if they could only ask questions of the test subjects after each experiment.